I Want to be Brutal

In honor of National Coming Out Day on October 11, 2024, Theo Reads is sharing FREE romance and erotic stories featuring LGBTQ+ characters all week long!

“Sometimes you tell me that when I’m brutal is when you feel the best. That helps. But I also know that what feels “good” isn’t always loving, caressing touch; sometimes the rough, painful touch is an ordeal to conquer, an experience to withstand, and that too is pleasure.” (an excerpt)

BDMS (Bondage, Dominant & Submissive), LGBTQ (Gay) Erotica

Spice Level: Spicy

Content: Physical force, talk of ownership and dominance

~*~

I want to be brutal, but I want to be nice.

This is a constant conflict in my mind: I want to get that fire in my throat that comes when I see you wince and cringe and cry and beg, that thing that opens through the center of me and smiles when you hurt. And I want you to feel good, I want to touch you and for you to like it, I want to watch you come and give permission for pleasure and encourage you and embrace all the sensations of being in a body.

So maybe I don’t really want to “be nice:” what I want is for you to feel good. I want to be brutal, but I want you to feel good.

Sometimes you tell me that when I’m brutal is when you feel the best. That helps. But I also know that what feels “good” isn’t always loving, caressing touch; sometimes the rough, painful touch is an ordeal to conquer, an experience to withstand, and that too is pleasure.

Tonight, that’s the phrase that keeps coming up: I want to be brutal. I want to brutalize you. I feel afraid of my own desire for this, but I feel inspired by the lines of our contract and things that you’ve said and mantras that I’ve made going around in my head: “I want you to do whatever you want to me.” “I like it when it hurts.” “I want to cry for you.” “I want you to take it out on me.”

You’re working on your computer. I tell you to tell me when you are done, that I need you for something.

You come over to where I’m reading in the leather armchair. I have my reading glasses on and a little lamp next to me.

“Sir?”

“Mmm.” I don’t look up.

“I’m ready for you.”

I glance at you quickly. “Strip. Then kneel there.” I point. And I go back to my book.

Continue reading on theoreads.com.

About the author:

Sinclair is a queer trans butch, a leather dominant, and a writer. They study dominance and submission, social & restorative justice, the energetic body, trauma, and transformation. Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they have edited five editions of the Best Lesbian Erotica series, as well as the lesbian BDSM erotica anthology Say Please, and Erotix: The Literary Journal of Somatics.

Since 2000, they have run the online erotica writing group Writing Spicy at writingspicy.com - a six-week guided writing group for beginner to intermediate writers focusing on constructing erotic stories. Queer characters, sex, and kinky acts are not required, but this is a queer-centered and kink-positive space. Starting on October 20, 2024, limited seats available - sign-up here.